Pitches for my picture book manuscripts
INCREDIBLY BORING STORIES FOR OVER-STIMULATED CHILDREN unfolds in the hour before bedtime, when the sweet kids of the house transform into savage, bonkers monsters, refusing to settle down for sleep. Dad makes a desperate attempt to appease them with a bedtime story, but his long-winded tale about a simple household chore lacks the exciting dinosaur-and-Dracula action that the kids demand—and may prove too boring to stay awake through.
Bonnet Bee, Peanut Butterfly and Tippi Hummingbird are tiny, colorful creatures who are regular members of the Pollinators Club. When they open their group to welcome new members, a huge, intimidating bat named Belfry shows up. Everyone must overcome their fear and expectations to recognize that they all love their work and can each look a little strange while they get their job done. Pollinators come in all different shapes and sizes—even nocturnal creatures with dracula fangs!
Breaking the fourth wall, Noodle and her brother Goofball are determined to rebel against the way books sneak in a moral. They vow to make sure their book is 100% shenanigans, with no morals – but their boring dad keeps interrupting from stage left with unwelcome words of parenting wisdom. When it seems blobfish pillow fights and ostrich-in-a-dinosaur-costume shenanigans are poised to win the day, one unexpected moral sneaks its way into the book.
Rainbow the unicorn hates being called baby names like “Cutie Patootie,” and after an unexpected encounter with a bat, he seizes the opportunity to change how the citizens of Sparklevania see him. His new identity of COUNT RAINBOW causes a stir around town, and people start to reconsider the nicknames they use.
Max’s Aunt Lily notices that he’s spending a lot of time indoors with his new video game, ignoring the fun to be had outside — especially in her garden with its old droopy cypress tree. After a quick bit of shopping for beach balls & paint, Max meets a new outdoor friend, THE GOOGLY TREE.
One sunny afternoon, a girl named Melody spots something unusual in the sky above her farm. A COW ON A BALLOON! Suddenly the whole world seems transfixed by the situation, posting photos and videos and broadcasting endless opinions. But Melody uses her wits and heart to solve the problem and save the day while everyone around her feeds into the hysteria caused by the improbable predicament.
When Goofball and his sister Noodle sleep late and risk missing Dad’s pancake breakfast, a mysterious warning straight out of an old sci-fi movie announces an incoming alien threat! A strange menace arrives to unleash a wave of wiggling terror, launching the kids into action. Will mankind survive this otherworldly peril? Will jet pack evasion tactics ready the kids for breakfast before their pancakes get cold? Will the lure of pancakes repel the approaching doom of—THE TICKLE FROM OUTER SPACE…?!?
A trip to the amusement park turns into a baffling mystery where things are not what they seem! When Goofball and his sister Noodle meet their favorite cartoon characters, they are shocked to discover… HEY! THEY HAVE ZIPPERS! Disillusionment must be overcome when they discover dark secrets are hidden behind their favorite cartoon characters.
Krampus is a monster with an important job. Santa was in charge of bringing gifts to kids on the NICE list. But Krampus’ job? PUNISH THE NAUGHTY LIST CHILDREN. But when an overstuffed toy sack causes a workplace injury, Santa’s elves pull a switcheroo, turning to the monster to avoid a publicity disaster by getting presents delivered on Christmas Eve. A certain familiar house on his delivery route poses a crying, shouting, pouting kid problem, and Krampus has to think Santa thoughts in order to find a better solution than his go-to move of a birch stick whacking.